I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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