she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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