He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
