Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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