we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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