this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
