i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
