MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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