I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I did not marry a roomba.
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