i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
