just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
