We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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