If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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