ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
