I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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