May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize