I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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