He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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