Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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