You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
