Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
