Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
