if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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