Dual....:-)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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