I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
