I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Found your dick twin last night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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