I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
