I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
