you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
