i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
