is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
