we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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