mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
