Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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