Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
