my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Say something about gay babies.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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