SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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