either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
