My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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