exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
