Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
