I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
