tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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