Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
