I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
