I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
