are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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