He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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