You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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