He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
