In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just puked most of my soul out..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize