So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this will be a night to untag.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
