Where did you get a picture of my penis
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
