He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
