yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
