I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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